Shitty Poem Titles For Sale

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To the untrained eye, many poem titles might appear to be just a bunch of random jibberjabber jobbledy joo thought up at 3 am by some writer smearing Nutella in their hair, but in fact most poem titles are actually a bunch of random jibberjabber jobbledy jee thought up at 3 am by some writer smearing peanut butter in their hair because they can’t afford Nutella.

If you’re like me, you have a document where you keep all your precious wordscraps and every once in a while when nothing is firing in the old brainpan you return to the junk pile to fuck around trying to build Frankensteins.

If you’re even more like me, you have some pretty unusable titles in your misfit document.

So for today and today only I’m selling off some prime poem titles I’m pretty sure I’ll never use. I know it’s generous. That’s just the kind of guy I am.

Get ‘em while they’re hot (and terrible). You can paypal the money.

$1 – “POEM COMPOSED WHILE DREAMING OF ALL THE DEAD ESCALATORS IN THE WORLD”

75¢ – “LOST IN THE ZERO CAVE AGAIN WITH MY OLD FRENEMY THE HORNY SHADOW”

25¢ – ALL NIPPLES OF COURSE HAVE A LITTLE FUR”

10¢ – “DRINKING A HOLE THROUGH A QUESTION: A GENTLEMAN’S TREATISE”

5¢ – “BEFORE YOU COME NEAR ME WITH THAT GODDAMN HAND MIRROR YOU SHOULD KNOW I AM A MASTER POET AND I HAVE COME HERE FOR MIGHTY TRUTHS TO STAB ME IN THE FACE NOT TO FUCK AROUND WITH INFERIOR BEAUTY TIPS”

FREE! – “DANCING DICKLESS ALONG THE POWDERED CORRIDORS OF MORDOR”

What are some of your unusable titles?

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