“Traditional, Traditional, Experimental”
Object of Game: Be the most experimental.
How to Play: Fiction writers all claiming to be more experimental than they really are sit in a circle. Played just like Duck, Duck, Goose, except all players are full of shit.
“Pin the MFA on the donkey”
Object of Game: Pin the MFA on the donkey.
How to Play: Successfully pin the MFA on the donkey. Watch as donkey goes into poverty.
Object of Game: Be the saddest poet.
How to Play: Saddest poet in the room wins. Always ends in a tie.
Object of Game: Finish your novel.
How to Play: Everyone start a novel. Count to 30 years. Try to finish before dying of day job/disillusionment.
“Spin the Bottle”
Object of Game: Deplete all the spinny bottles.
How to Play: While writing, spin a bottle. If it points in any direction, drink the bottle. Play until passed out/no more bottles.
“Make the Canon”
Object of Game: Make the literary canon.
How to Play: First player to become an old dead white man wins.
“Find your Readership”
Object of Game: Win the most readers.
How to Play: Divide room into two teams, literary writers and commercial writers. Go to a crowded place, such as a mall or carnival. For each person tagged, team is awarded one point/one reader. Team with most combined readers wins. Team Literary loses when they only touch each other.
Object of Game: Rack up the most superfluous information.
How to Play: Each editor is given ten cover letters. Editor with most superfluous information wins. Double points for unnecessarily long summary/analysis of submission and complete list of fifty or more publications. Triple points for mention of cats.
“Spot the Sobe’!”
Object of Game: Spot the Sobe’!
How to Play: Go to AWP. Find the one sober writer just there for the panels.
Object of Game: Make it to the end of the hopscotch board.
How to Play: Played just like regular hopscotch, except all the tiles are unreadable and the board is one big circle.